So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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