just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
