Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
