she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
