It's like God shit irony all over that family
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
