I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
