Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
