every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
