I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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