Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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