I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
