ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
