margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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