Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Drake has all the answers
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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