You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
