I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
