actually, I'm a sock model
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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