Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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