? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
