Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
