ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
