my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
