I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
