We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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