I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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