Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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