My first STD was from a foam party
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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