Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
