we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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