I puked a lego.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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