Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
