She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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