Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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