You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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