we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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