9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
