'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
