the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
