Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
