Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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