so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
