it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
