where am i from again
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
