i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
