I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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