you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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