I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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