im holly from the hills drunk
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
