I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
