Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
