We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
