he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
