apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
